Addendum to Slapper

This morning Slapper has entered the carriage with her usual aplomb – as she hits the bottom step she starts counting….1…the suspense…..2…I cant breathe….3….sigh of relief – the seat is vacant. Thank goodness for that!!
Today its her mode of dress that catches the eye. I hear you think….but she is always dressed ‘colourfully’ isn’t she? Yes you’re right her style of dress is constantly a source of amusement but today she has outdone herself.
First is the bright red mini skirt, I need not remind you that she is about 200 kilos in weight and only about 4 feet tall……the skirt has a white fluffy frill around the bottom , next are the socks, she is obviously a Canterbury supporter because her socks are blue and white striped and are football socks. She has a big red santa hat on her head that hangs down her back to her waist. She has on a pair of court shoes in bright yellow patent leather (or maybe vinyl) with little pointy bits added onto the toes (like elf shoes) and little bells sewn onto the point so she jingles with each step she takes. The piece de resistance is the t-shirt. A neon bright, lime green over sized shirt with a huge Christmas tree on the front, in white with appliquéd decorations and sequins and glitz all over it.
The makeup is already on so we don’t have to go through that ritual this morning. I have to close my eyes, the riot of colous is too much for this time of the day.
I can hear that little munchkin voice telling the lady in the isle next to her that Santa is coming to her work today and they are having a party and lots of cake and coke and chocolate crackles and Santa will have a present for everyone (even Monica who is bad all the time) And Mr ….. is going to close down today and they don’t have to come back for 4 weeks……………….sigh………