Faces

Isn’t it funny how some things amuse some and not others.
This morning when I got on the train I was in a daydream , sunnies on, very sleepy and not at all with the program.
I heard a woman come down the steps behind me, exclaim rather loudly and then tsk tsk, loudly make a comment that went something like ‘disgusting things’ and footsteps stomping back up the stairs. I looked up and firstly noticed that I was the only one in the carriage and secondly that there was a Kotex personal hygiene pad, stuck, in a vertical position, to the back of each and every seat.
My first reaction was to check that I was actually seeing this then I just had to laugh out loud; all the pads were ‘new’ and stuck there by their adhesive strip with their little wings unfurled and they all had faces drawn on them in coloured crayon.
There were Asian faces, Caucasian faces, Negro faces, Middle Eastern faces, men and women the odd dog and cat, even a fish or two. It was wonderful, the artist/s was/were very talented and obviously had a great sense of humour.
The most amusing thing about the whole episode was the reaction of my fellow travellers.
Some, like me, were amused and delighted to have their morning train decorated with colour and humour. Some looked but didn’t react at all. Others reacted with embarrassment (like when you are talking to someone and they fart and they don’t want to let on you have heard it) but the best were the disgusted ones.
A few, (mostly women) took one look and bolted. There was the odd person who made their disgust and displeasure known quite loudly, but only if they had a friend with them.
Lordy, if those little artists only knew the stir they had caused.
One woman grabbed a tissue out of her bag, gingerly peeled the offending pad off the back of the seat, dropped it on the floor and kicked it under the seat in front.
A nicely dressed man sat down, looked, studdied and then ripped it off, screwed it up and threw it on the floor. (How funny would the cleaner's reaction be to finding all those pads lying on the floor of the train, what am I saying....what cleaner!!!)
I don’t have issues with sanitary napkins, they have a purpose and most of the adult population either uses them or knows of them. The idea that you would carry on about a pad with a face drawn on it as though it was toxic waste is a little foreign to me.
In fact if someone can find a better, more aesthetic use for them, then all power to them.
I guess its confrontational seeing a Kotex pad out in the open air for all to see but what about this multi skilling that everyone keeps going on about?
I stopped to help at an accident once, there was a man bleeding from a head wound. I had no first aid kit in those days so I just got a pad out of the glove box, unwrapped it and placed it over the cut. The fellow didn’t seem to mind, in fact he held it there himself. His face was red but I’m pretty sure that was from the blood rather than embarrassment. The ambulance driver told me that he prefers to use pads as a dressing as they are more absorbent and they are hygienically sealed. Bargain! I have a couple in our first aid kit now. I was in hospital recently and this medical opinion was confirmed for me by a nurse who told me they use sanitary napkins often as a dressing.
I also used to use them as a shin guard when I was playing softball. Seriously, I was a pitcher and if that ball came back at me, off the bat, harder and faster than I threw it down, the last thing you want to do is stop it with a flimsy sock covered shin.
I got a packet of Tenna Lady pads and shoved them down my socks, no more problems. Later, when the plastic shin guards came in, I still used the Tenna’s because the padding on the shin guard was thin and didn’t absorb shock like the pads did. I copped lots of stick from my team mates over it but when they stopped a ball with their leg they soon lost their aversion to them.
I also have a friend who uses panty liners to clean her silver. I’m not sure how that came about but her silver looks nice and shiny.
So I’m quite open to new and interesting ways to utilise pads.
Perhaps society isn’t ready to embrace pad art? Maybe all that purple dye in the commercials has created a bunch of ignoramuses? These artists may even have been misled by the feminine hygiene commercials, I mean they are rather obscure aren’t they? “that time of the month”, "your cycle", "the times you can't do what you want to"and my favourite "when friends come calling"….all really rather gray aren’t they. And the ads on TV are really confusing, happy smiling girls running into the surf, laughing and chatting over an ice-cream cone, splatting each other with pillows, wearing slips of material that wouldn't cover a postage stamp, everyone hugging and being bestest friends…no wonder they are confused.
Then there is the purple dye, the absorbency, the wings...what does all that have to do with your period? It looks more like a male fantasy to me. Where’s the reality??
Do you really want to play tennis and swim when you feel like you are dragging your uterus around by the ovaries? Your smile a rictus on your face as you feel your reason and sanity fly out the window on a hormone fuelled rage. Do you grab a packet of Modess and sling them into a beaker of purple dye? Do your friends hang around and laugh and smile as you binge eat a small convenience store dry of anything with a hint of chocolate in it? And who wears skimpy little clothes on 'heavy days' anyway?
Maybe the ads should feature a greasy headed, blotchy girl in a food stained track suit who is being held down with a broom by her best friend who is trying to stop her from devouring a 250 gram block of Cadbury’s chocolate. As she cramps up she could grab the purple dye and squirt her friend in the eye, snatch the broom and beat the crap out of the cow for not giving her the chocolate. Then when the dust settles they could go down to the beach, sit on the pillows, use one pad as a cold compress on the broom wounds, one to staunch the bleeding nose, another as a serviette for when they eat the chocolate and another as a tissue when the mood swings come on.