Hot Chips

Hmmmmmm hot chips. Someone has sat down nearby with hot chips. Where are they? They don’t smell like McDonalds poor excuse for a chip, they smell divine.
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since 12 noon, well except for a monte carlo biscuit and a cuppa at 3. Au de fresh hot chips can send you mad on the train home especially if you only have a Jila mint to sustain you til dinner.
I can see the little blighter sitting two seats up, awwww they are wrapped up in butchers paper, I can smell vinegar too. Steam is coming up out of the small hole he has punched in the top of the paper.
My stomach is growling really loudly and I think I’m going to drown on the saliva I’m producing.
They are really hot too, he is burning his fingers just getting them out of the wrapper.
Oooops he has dropped one, did I just see someone move as if to grab it. Heeeeeeee obviously there are some other sufferers in here with me, boy you would have to be desperate to eat that one on the floor. Does the 3 second rule apply to train carriage floors. Oh……too late his boot heel just smashed it.
Cant concentrate, wonder if he would notice if I walked past and fell on him as the train rocked and snitched one? Maybe I could lead the All Stations to E H chip revolt of 07. As the leader I would be entitled to the bulk of the spoils but I would be generous and toss hot chips to my loyal revoltees as we crawl home.
We could grab chip eater and stake (hmmmmm steak) him out on the floor and whip a chip past his nose on it’s way to our mouth. We could open up the bag and place it on his chest while we all help ourselves to his chips, the 3rd degree burns to his nipples should be a reminder not to bring his instruments of torture among the hungry homeward bound.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo he has just eaten the last chip and is licking his fingers. Damn, I should have moved quicker, there goes the wrapper into his bag. At least he isn't a tosser.
7 stations to go til I'm home, I might have to stop for something to take the edge off............sniff...hmmmmmmmmmm sniff sniff juicy fruit chewing gum.......