Train etiquette?

Earlier train this morning. Very crowded. I had to stand in the vestibule area smashed up with all the other desperates trying to get into the city. Because this train is a fast train ( I'm not sure that fast is really the word that I would use to describe it but hey, City Rail has to have poetic licence with some of it's adjectives) you expect that if you get on at a station closer to the destination then there will be lots of other people doing the same thing, a seat is a luxury rather than a given. So I'm fine, I'm standing and trying to avoid any steaming humanity actually touching me by crinkling myself up in a corner of the carriage. Now, is there some kind of crowded train etiquette for reading whilst standing in an upright sardine can? I think there is. You dont. How can you possibly read a book, mag or newspaper when you don't have the room? I must admitt that when I have been in the throws of reading a really exciting book I have entertained myself with the idea that the person in front of me mightn't mind if I rested the spine of the book on their spine, back to back you might say but have never actually put that one into practice. So, A book? No. A magazine? No, not enough room. A newspaper? forget it. The Herald? are you deranged!!
In steps The Suit, a nicely dressed young man, baby face, well groomed ( I suspect manicured as well) someone that looks like he is a professional, a highly thought of member of the establishment. He has the Herald under his arm and as he stands next to me I give a silent 'thankyou' to the Train God that he has it folded and isn't going to read it. Wrong. He unfolded the paper holding it in both hands and leaned back until he was resting comfortably against my back using me as his handy stopper everytime the train jolted, accelerated or braked. I actually put up with this for about 3 jolts because I was so taken aback by his affrontery, then held my elbow in position so that the next jolt would give his kidneys a bit of a rough up. This resulted in a shrug of the shoulders but no other reaction (like putting the paper down and hanging on). Sterner measures needed here. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to hang on and stop leaning on me. Totally ignored me. I was getting some attention from bored commuters who were enjoying the show. I rolled my eyes at a man opposite me who returned the roll and mimicked a shove in the back. We both silently laughed but then I thought 'why not?' so I did. Not hard, just a nudge. Unfortunately the train accelerated at the same time and 'baby face' became a projectile and ended up at the foot of the stairs with his paper crumpled up in a ball in front of him. Ooooops. Incredibly he didn't fall, I reckon if he isn't a surfer or skate board rider then he should be. I'm not sure who laughed most but the man who gave me the idea in the first place looked like he was going to wet himself. As for 'baby face' he wasn't fazed, he took to his new position with gusto, leaning comfortably on the man next to him and opening his Herald.........